now Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

is detained in Greenland Zoo

this card must go by Royal Mail

do hope it reaches you

 

I'd send some joyful tidings

gift-wrapped with festive verse

but everyday the news seems bad

& it's getting worse

 

in the bleak mid-winter

of our discontent

there's little cause for revelry

or merriment

 

Christmas is coming

the force-fed goose gets fat

(geese & vegetarians

object to that)

 

even ol' Santa

ain't the same anymore

when you've seen thru his disguise

at the department store

 

the ghost of Christmas-Yet-to-Come

looks ugly grim & mean

unless the scourging Scrooge in Man

decides to change the scene

 

Saviour Baby Jesus

in a tableau Virgin Birth

can hardly help us save ourselves

let alone the bloody Earth

 

 

the year is nearly ended

as alas is this

the new one could be one last chance

we can't afford to miss

 

so take a sprig of imitation holly

spray on artificial snow

'tis the season to be jolly

under the plastic

under the plastic

under the plastic mistletoe